


Loving You Keeps Me Alive

by NotMarie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I'M EMO, Jicheol, M/M, Past SeokSoon, Past SoonChan, Seokmin is mentioned once too, Seungcheol is only mentioned once, Vampire!Soonyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:10:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotMarie/pseuds/NotMarie
Summary: The story of how Soonyoung lived and how he died.





	Loving You Keeps Me Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song Loving You Keeps Me Alive which Xia/Junsu sang for one of his musicals, Dracula (I think. Correct me if I'm wrong lol I'm very forgetful hahaha)

 

Jihoon sat by the Fountain. Besides him sat a man with an odd hair color. His eyes were different, too. At times they were the usual brown, a very beautiful shade of brown, but there are rare occasions when the man is fuming with anger, unable to control the change that his eyes look like a very dark shade of red. Tonight wasn't one of those days, though. His eyes were sparkling, the gentleness of this person showed through it. He had this soft smile etched on his face as he looked at Jihoon.

"Sir, you seem happy. Care to tell me what the reason is?" Jihoon asks. The person looked straight at Jihoon's eyes.

"It's because you are here, my dear." The man, Kwon Soonyoung, says.

Jihoon felt his heart skip a beat, but this is wrong. Everything about this set-up is so wrong. He knows he has to end this soon, but he can't. This man became very dear to his heart that he couldn't bear to lose him, but he lets himself be selfish for now.

'It's okay, Jihoon. It's just you who loves him, anyway. Sir just keeps you around for your stories, and for some blood.' This is what Jihoon tells himself every single day.

Jihoon believed that the man kept seeng him for his blood. Yes, Kwon Soonyoung is a creature of the dark that lives off by feeding on people's blood, a vampire. This explains why he rarely saw the man in broad daylight, or whenever he does see him, he is clad in black clothes, always wore a hat, and always carried an umbrella with him. It also explained the blood-red eyes, the fangs that peeked out from his lips as he once drank Jihoon's tasty blood.

No, Soonyoung hasn't, not even once, tried to bit Jihoon. He and Jihoon once met at this very fountain on a very solemn night. Jihoon was on his way home, and this was a shortcut route that only few people knew. Since he was in a hurry and risks of meeting bandits were less if he used this way, he decided to do so.

What almost stopped him, however, were the rumors going around that an unknown creature was the reason why bandits don't use this way anymore. They say it kills bandits, sucking the life out of them like they were pests. Still, he couldn't believe such childish stories, not when he was too eager to go home and sleep. It has been a long day for him, after all.

Everything was fine, until he saw a man crouching down, hand holding on to the fountain's bench-like structure for support as his other hand clasped his stomach. It was odd, the man's hair was in a shade of yellow, Jihoon had only read about this hair color in books. Out of courtesy, Jihoon went and crouched beside the man and asked, "are you okay, sir?"

He heard a low voice, stuttering as he muttered the word, " _blood_ ", Jihoon couldn't quite comprehend what the man said, so he asks the man what his problem is. Slowly, the man raised his head and peeked from his arm that was holding onto the fountain. What he didn't expect to see was a pair of red glaring eyes, and fangs.

Jihoon was frozen in shock. He couldn't quite process the situation he was in. Upon noticing the shocked look on Jihoon's face, the man panicked and covered his face with his hands.

"I-I'm sorry if I scared you. I don't mean harm, I just need b-blood." The man says. After saying this, the man used his hands to clasp the area around his stomach and his face scrunched in pain.

Jihoon, even though he is scared, took pity of the man. ' _He must be starving. What should I do?_ ' He thought to himself, however, there were no animals he could use to feed to the man, so he pulled out the mirror from his satchel, throws it on the ground, and grabs a shard before he lets it graze upon his skin. Soon after, blood dripped from the palm of his hands.

The man smelled the strong scent, causing him to turn his gaze to Jihoon's hand. He extended this hand, shaking from the stinging sensation brought upon the wound that was there. The man looked at Jihoon. He saw Jihoon's soft smile and motioned his hand. The vampire, who tried so hard to control himself, licked Jihoon's bleeding palm. Jihoon closed his eyes, it was slightly painful, but it was bearable. Soon the pain was gone, and the vampire was no longer lapping on his skin. He looks at his hand and sees that his wound was now healed as well. The vampire, who once had this red eyes and fangs, now looks normal. The red eyes turned to brown, and no fangs peeked out when he smiled.

"Thank you." The man says.

 

The man escorted him on his way home, as a sign of my gratitude, the man says.

On the way, Jihoon nervously asks,

" _You're a vampire, am I right, Sir?" The man nodded. What's the point of denying it anyway?_

_Jihoon swallowed his spit and asked once again, "I-I'm not going to turn into a vampire too, right?"_

_To which the vampire responded with a hearty laughter as he shook his head. Jihoon's cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. The man who introduced himself as Kwon Soonyoung let out a small giggle before speaking._

_  
"Of course, not. I can't believe people still believed that myth."_

  
Soon, passing through that path became a regular occurrence, so does meeting the vampire.

Every time they'd meet, the man would insist on walking Jihoon home. Of course, the man would politely reject the offer, but the vampire was very stubborn.

Every time they'd meet, Jihoon would bring him a chicken, or any small animal he could feed to the man. The man would be very grateful, of course.

Every time they'd meet, they learn more about each other.

Jihoon is a scholar, a man of science, that's why he couldn't quite believe his eyes when he first met this creature. He thought they were fictional characters, that's why he couldn't understand why there are detailed studies about his kind. He is also very talented, he could play various kinds of instruments. Soonyoung learned that Jihoon is a warm-hearted person. He even wounded his hand for him despite not knowing whether it will heal or not just to feed him even if it may affect his playing. Soonyoung thought that if there really is a God, Jihoon was one of those that will be blessed, is already blessed, or a blessing by him.

Jihoon learned that Soonyoung is one of those vampires that doesn't really feed on human blood, and that he didn't really killed bandits that went that way, he just scared the off. He learned that garlic doesn't scare the likes of him, unlike what books said, that Soonyoung is over two hundred years old, and that silver and wood may really bring forth his death.

Jihoon still sees Soonyoung as a human, and Soonyoung couldn't be more thankful for that.

 

And every time they'd meet, they came to like each other a little more than before.

Still, Jihoon told himself that he should stop this before everything worsens; but a little voice within him told him that it's alright, no one has to know.

 

 

  
As they stared at the night sky while they sat at their usual spot, Jihoon asks, "How did you become a vampire, sir?"

Soonyoung heaves a sigh. "I told you to stop calling me sir, Jihoon." Jihoon mutters an apology and lets out a small smile. The man looks up to the sky once again. He reminisced of his bitter past.

 

_Soonyoung was a cheery kid. He was from a wealthy family, and his parents loved him dearly. His blonde hair was inherited from his western ancestors on his mother's side while his eye shape and color were from his asian predecessors. His beautiful appearance had attracted many people, and their wealth had caused people to envy them._

_It was a peaceful summer night when the loud sound of people shouting stirred him from his sleep. He woke up and went to his mother's room. The people were scary. They carried torches as they shouted, "Give up the cursed kid!" "He brought misfortune to our town!" "Kill the child!"_

_His father was already furious. Soonyoung cried as he hugged his mother. He asks, "M-mother, I'm not cursed, right?" His mom smiled and wiped away his tears. He pressed a kiss unto his son's forehead and said, "of course not. Have you seen a cursed child this beautiful?"_

_Soon, the people decided to trespass unto their home, breaking their door and their furnitures in the process. The father ordered his wife and son to runaway, carrying a small bag of money with them._

_Soonyoung watched as the house where he grew up get devoured by the flames. He heard his mother's silent cries as they left her other half behind._

 

_  
They found this small village, faraway from their previous home. They decided to settle here for good. His mother, despite being a woman who wasn't given the privilege to go and study, was a very intelligent woman. He homeschooled his son, teaching him what he needs to learn like basic addition and subtraction._

_Because they could only live off the money they brought for only a short period of time, Soonyoung's mother had to work to feed both of them. She'd sell apples at a stall in market at day and she'd teach his son at night. She also did their chores and would accept laundry jobs at times, but time flew and her body couldn't work anymore._

 

_Soonyoung was only 18 years old back then. He was at the peak of his youth. When his mother became bedridden, he worked in her stead. While selling apples, there was this one man that always went to his stall and bought apples for him. Apples were quite pricey, so he came to the conclusion that he must be well-off._

_The Hellos they'd exchange turned to small chit chats. The same asian roots they had caused them to become closer. Their ancestors were both from the same country, and that gave them a lot to talk about. Soonyoung was happy to find this man. He found comfort and bliss just by having him there._

_But his happiness was cut when he came home to her mother's dead body. It was very painful for him for he only had his mother, and now even his mother left him. However, the man who introduced himself as Lee Chan, told Soonyoung that he still have him._

_Chan was with him through thick and thin. He helped Soonyoung to be back on his feet again. Soonyoung was sure he loves Chan, but he doesn't know how to express his sentiments._

_They'd walk and stroll by the town every afternoon, right after he closes their stall. It was until one day that he gathered his courage to confess._

 

_As he was nearing their rendezvous spot, he feels like something is wrong, so he walks faster._

_There he saw his love, smiling at him. For an unknown reason, the man ran to him and hugged him. He was hugging him back when he felt something on Chan's back. It felt like a handle of a knife. Soonyoung tried to break free from the hug, but Chan hugged him tight and whispered, "Run, my love. Run and leave this wretched place. T-this place isn't for you. P-people will only try to hurt you."_

_He placed a kiss on Soonyoung's lips one last time before he collapsed._

_Soonyoung shouted in agony. The only person he had left, now felt cold against his touch. A group of man appeared and tried to end his life. He did want his life to end now, but he couldn't let it continue, his lover, his parents, he can't just let them die in vain._

_He was beaten to death, almost unable to move a muscle. When those townspeople that tried to kill him thought he was barely alive, they left him there to rot. Soonyoung looked in front of him and across the street, he saw a church. With his remaining strength, he walked and went inside the church. He shouted, he cried, he went to the altar and threw everything away. He fell on his knees and he looked up at the crucifix._

_"You're no God, you're just a figment of human imagination!" "Why did you let this happen to me?" "I'd rather die than to worship you!" "What did I ever do to deserve this?"_

_He shouted all these at the top of his lungs before he felt an excruciating pain that took his heartbeat away._

_He woke up 20 years later inside a coffin about 6 feet below the ground with this inhuman strength and bloodlust. People from the town where he used to live died from a plague, making him unable to seek vengeance for the death of his love._

 

 

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon and said, "There are two kinds of monsters in this world, my dear. One," he looks at the sky, "those who were born like monsters and was encouraged by the people to be one, and two, those who weren't born like a monster but became one after everyone told him that he is one."

Jihoon furrowed his brows, "under which category do you fall, sir?"

Soonyoung sighs. "I don't know, Jihoon. I don't know."

Silence. Soonyoung speaks once again. "But one thing is for sure, I loved someone and even he was taken away from me."

Soonyoung closed his eyes, feeling the cold air against his skin. "God has forsaken me, Jihoon, and I just returned the favor. After that, I became this."

 

Soonyoung sighed once again, Jihoon turns his gaze to Soonyoung. "You're no monster for me, sir. You're just misunderstood. . . I think."

Soonyoung smiles. He brings his hand on top of Jihoon's head to ruffle his hair. "Thank you, Jihoon-ah."

 

 

 

  
Jihoon sat beside Soonyoung once again. He doesn't know why, but despite the cold facade and cold touch, Soonyoung emits this kind of warmth. Maybe it was what made him adore the said man even more.

Jihoon wonders, "Have you ever been in love before?"

Soonyoung turns to him and smiled. "Of course, Jihoon. With my looks and my charm, I had people lining up for me! It is inevitable that I'd find at least one that matches my taste, isn't it?" He says in a playful tone.

Jihoon felt his heart break a little, but maybe this is what he needed to force himself to stop this. He took a breath and asked, "Who are they?"

Soonyoung looks at the stars once again. "My first love was when I was a young adult, a little younger than your age, I suppose. His name is Lee Chan. He was with me when my mother had left this world."

"Is he also a Korean too, perhaps?" Jihoon inquires. Soonyoung nods.

  
"That was one of the many things we had in common. It was hard to find Koreans in Europe, you see. Although I'm only partly Korean. Anyway, he was a good person, and I fell for him. Unfortunately, even he was taken away from me. That was the time I decided to turn my back on God, for he turned his back on me first, hence me, a vampire, was born."

Jihoon, though feeling a wee bit of jealousy, looked at him intently, as if asking him to proceed. Soonyoung smiled. "The next one though, I'm not sure if it was love. It was rather a feeling of belongingness."

"You see, Chan and I promised each other that we'd go to where our asian roots came from, so even though he's gone, I granted his wish. Around fifty years after his death, I went to Korea. However, even in this land where my ancestors came from, even with the uncanny resemblance of my face to every other people here, they were scared of me, and they pushed me away. Seokmin, however, was the first one to make me feel like I belonged."

"I was happy when I was with him. He taught me how to write in Korean for I only learned how to speak from my father. My vocabulary was too limited, but he was a man of wits. He'd always find a way to make me understand despite the language barrier. He also showered me with affection. Our happiness was still temporarily though. Every man from their village were recruited to be soldiers and palace guards, and he never returned to me since then."

Jihoon sniffed, wiping the tear that fell. "Why is your life so sad, sir?"

Soonyoung fakes a shocked expression. "You're already crying? But I'm not finish with my stories yet!"

Jihoon wipes his nose with the sleeves of what he wore and sat up straight, as if he was ready to listen once again. Soonyoung ruffled his hair.

"This one, however, is the person that kept me alive. I know, It does sound absurd that I am already part of the undead community, so how can I feel alive? But believe me, after our first meeting, I would long for his scent, his touch."

"He has this pure heart, oh how lucky his future spouse will be!"

He turns his gaze to Jihoon. "I had experience the feeling of being in love, then there's you."

Jihoon felt his heart beat faster, his mind in a state of chaos. Soonyoung continues. "I knew the feeling of being loved and being in love, but you, you made me feel alive. You gave me these ceaseless thoughts, the feeling as if my heart is beating again, the bliss upon seeing you."

Soonyoung held one of Jihoon's hand and placed a kiss on it. "Jihoon, this man is truly, madly, deeply in love with you. Would you like to stay with me for the rest of our lives?"

Jihoon couldn't help it. His tears flowed continuously. He bit his lower lip before saying, "I'm sorry, Sir, but we can't be together."

Soonyoung's eyes widened in shock. "Why? Have I done something wrong, my dear? Tell me so I can change it for you."

Jihoon looked into Soonyoung's eyes which were already teary up to this point. "I'm sorry, Sir." He removes his hand from Soonyoung's grasp and places it on his sides.

Soonyoung speaks in a weak voice, "why?"

Jihoon stood up and started to walk away, his back facing Soonyoung. The vampire, however, grabs his wrists and makes him turn only to see Jihoon's crying face. "I know you love me too, Jihoon. I can feel it! Please, just. . . Make me understand."

Jihoon's brows furrowed together, an angry expression displayed on his face. "We can't be together!"

"But why?" Soonyoung remained as calm as he could. The words Jihoon said next, however, is what broke his heart.

  
"I'm married, Soonyoung."

Soonyoung's grip on Jihoon's wrist were loosened. Jihoon didn't prevent his tears from falling anymore.

"H-he's an honorable man. Their family paid-off my family's debts. When we asked for what he wanted in return, he said he wanted to marry me."

Jihoon brings his hand to his face to wipe away his tears. "He was wealthy, so his family was able to keep people quiet about our relationship. I know, loving another men is against those teachings, but he disregarded them all because he loves me! How could I ever repay his kindness than to be his spouse?"

Soonyoung fell on his knees, unable to say anything. Jihoon continues. "But I don't love him, Sir. It was you whom I hold dear in my heart."

Jihoon crouches down, wiping Soonyoung's tears. "I do love you, but I couldn't betray my husband. Seugcheol, he's been very kind to me. He even allowed me to study, to play instruments, I could never bring myself to leave him, Sir."

Jihoon places a soft kiss against Soonyoung's lips. Their tears were falling, the sadness within their hearts were overflowing. He breaks the kiss and smiles. "I hope this is the last time I'd see you sad, Sir. I do love you, believe me, but I can't be selfish any longer."

Jihoon stood up and smiled. "Farewell, my dear." And he turned his back against Soonyoung who was crying like a child. He rested his back against the familiar fountain, a bitter smile along his face.

  
" _How foolish of me. I should've known that you'd leave me too, Jihoon-ah_."

 

  
Soonyoung had his heart broken, Jihoon never walked down the path by the fountain again. Still, he loved Jihoon with all his heart. He'd check up on Jihoon too to see if he got home safe. He came back to the fountain every single day, hoping that one day, his love will walk the same road and will take his hand and will run away with him.

However, those dreams remained fantasy.

 

  
He was on his way to check if Jihoon had gotten home for it was odd, it was almost sunrise but he still haven't heard his footsteps near the area. He decided to check the alternate route Jihoon used from his academy to his home, but he was too late.

Jihoon's lifeless body was now in front of him, skin pale as snow. He hugged Jihoon's small frame, ignoring the punches and stabs from those bandits. It's useless, he was dead anyway.

Loving Jihoon kept him alive, but seeing his dead body like this made him want to just really die. He cried and cried till the sun was rising and he was feeling a slightly burning sensation against his skin. He pressed a kiss on Jihoon's forehead and softly laid down the body.

He turns around and faced the people responsible for his death. He went berserk, anger overflowing. His blood red eyes where more scary than how Jihoon saw it before. Those fangs seemed to glimmer under the sunlight, as if it was a very sharp knife. His long nails with pointy edges now showing. With every stab of a knife, his wound would heal. With his every movement, one bandit was killed. One final stab with a stake through his heart, and he suddenly felt his nearing death. He grab the person who stabbed him through his heart and threw him against a tree.

With his remaining strength, he held Jihoon's body tight. He struggled to keep his eyes open, remembering every detail of his face, his body. He hoped that in another life, they'd meet again, and maybe this time, a love story not as complicated as this will be theirs. He turned his face to see the the skies.

When was the last time he watched the sunrise? Two hundred years ago? He couldn't really remember, but it was still as beautiful as the sunrise he watched while he was a child, learning new things, or as a young adult, falling in love for the first time. He lets out a bitter smile, a tear fell from his eye. Slowly, the hands that held Jihoon turned to ash and was carried away by the wind.

 

He wondered, why does God make him suffer like this? What did he do to deserve such agony?

 

  
_Even during his last moments, the world was too cruel to him._

**Author's Note:**

> It's still not edited and all, but I hope you liked it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
